The biggest zoo in the world

Those of you who have been following my every move know that I spent the last week in downtown Manhattan. I've come to the realization that Manhattan is kind of like a really big zoo...or even a prison. Alcatraz?

I know what it takes to raise an animal in a zoo...trust me. I've played Zoo Tycoon. One of the most important elements to making the inhabitants comfortable is to place them in a habitat that is familiar to them. I stayed in the Flower District, which is where one can go to find all their habitat needs. Despite the habitat construction of pure cement, there is nothing stopping a display to be full natural beauty using the finest products. No Garden? No problem. Place one of these next to your door.

Come to think of it, maybe it's not a zoo or prison at all, maybe this is actually the Matrix? I am honestly not sure after taking this picture of Rockefeller Plaza.

Of course, the most common complaint of most zoos can also be found here. Are the animals being treated well? I was able to walk up to one of the exibits called "The Today Show". There I found something called an Amy Robach. This must have been a particularly dangerous display, as it was completely enclosed in sound proof glass.

Okay, I'm running out of material on this one. Honestly, it was a fun trip...I'm just saying. By the way, the teleprompter says "Janine Driver, thanks so much. And we'll be right back."

Merry Christmas 2009

We finally got a Christmas letter together. I've copied it and posted it here. You may need to click on the images to make them bigger. enjoy!

Hear ye, hear ye!

Wow, I haven't updated my blog in awhile. Well, you're up to date now. Move along.

Amsterdam it!

Greetings from the Netherlands! What a fun time it's been...what with the constant tiredness from the jet lag along with the weak value of the dollar against the Euro, it's like heaven on earth.

Apart from the complaining, it actually has been pretty fun. I've never been to Amsterdam before, but after serving my mission in France for 2 years, I was prepared for most of the little differences you see over here...little cars, a decent public transport system, and, of course, the chocolate. Even though each country is slightly different in items for sale, building architecture, and things of that nature, Amsterdam itself feels like a combination of several countries in one. When I walk down the street, I can overhear multiple languages. When in doubt, everybody speaks English. It seems to be the universal language.

I even found a "frite" stand, which of course is a famous treat in any Belgium city, so I was excited to have some tasty frites with...what is that...is that mayo? Not just any mayo. That's garlic Mayo! Just thank the almighty that it's not garlic miracle whip!

I could really go for some tripes with these frites. Look it up.

Today, I had the chance to visit the "Secret Annex", more popularly known as the Anne Frank house where the family stayed while in hiding during the Nazi Occupation. This was really a neat opportunity for me. I've always had a bit of an interest in World War II and the whole Nazi story, and it was in part because of the Anne Frank story that this became such an interest.

(Anne Frank House on the left, the museum/gift shop on the right)

Of course, wouldn't you know they wouldn't actually allow me to take pictures, and the small house was quite crowded. It was interesting how noisy the house was until we crossed into the secret annex area. Suddenly there was a quiet, almost as if those of us touring the building were now reliving the actual experience. Some of Anne Frank's quotes:

"Now our Secret Annex has truly become secret. Mr. Kugler thought it would be better to have a bookcase built in front of the entrance to our hiding place. Now whenever we want to go downstairs we have to duck and then jump." Aug 21, 1942

"Our little room looked very bare at first with nothing on the walls; but thanks to Daddy who had brought my film-star collection and picture postcards on beforehand, and with the aid of a paste pot and brush, I have transformed the walls into one gigantic picture. This makes it look much more cheerful." July 11, 1942

"You've known for a long time that my greatest wish is to be a journalist, and later on, a famous writer. In any case, after the war I'd like to publish a book called 'The Secret Annex'". May 11, 1944

On August 4, 1944, the people in hiding were betrayed by an anonymous tipster. Anne's father, Otto Frank, was the only one of the "people in hiding" to survive. One by one, they all died in various extermination camps. Anne Frank dies in Bergen-Belsen in March 1945, just days after her sister Margot. Both had contracted typhus.

Upon returning to Amsterdam in 1945, Otto wanted to make Anne's dream a reality and published her diary. The Annex itself became a museum in 1960. None of the room's have any furniture, as it was all removed by the Nazi's after their capture. The windows are darkened to give the visitor a very accurate representation of life in the Annex.

That's all for now. Hopefully my next entry won't be quite so depressing.

Blogimus Update

I've always recognized the importance of keeping a journal for my posterity. Since we will all be famous, I figure it's the most obvious way to reach out to my many fans. But for some reason, I can not accomplish the simple task of opening up a blank book and penning down my disturbed thoughts. That's why I started this blog. I figured that where the pen and paper failed, the blogosphere would succeed. That's why I'm able to enter a staggering number of blog entries in such a short time. It looks like, if I keep up the pace, I'll be entering a blog entry about once a quarter.

Speaking of quarters, I've been collecting a bunch of Canadian quarters this quarter. Two Toronto trips in a month...fun. I just love cold rainy weather in April...especially when it's 75 degrees and sunny back home in "cold" Utah. Since I travel way too much, I've managed to collect an absurd amount of points with airlines and hotel chains. When you are a recognized travel celebrity like myself, you come to expect the perks of being a recognized individual. "Hello Mr. Newman." "Thank you so much for not trashing the room this time Mr. Newman." And so on.

So, of course it's expected that I will get a free upgrade with my stay at the prestigious Holiday Inn Express. "What will it be Mr. Newman, the Presidential Suite?" No thanks, I'll take the conference room suite.

"Every Man dies...but not every man really lives..."

I've been to quite a few places this year already, but I don't think I've ever been to a place like Mexico City. Even in Mexico City and recognized as I walk out the door and am greeted by 3 boxes. Each of these boxes contains a person who is furiously waving their hands at me. At first I thought they were asking for help, but then I realized they wanted my autograph. Or not, in reality, they just wanted to offer me a Taxi. So which one do I choose? What will the other two do if I don't choose them? I can't handle this pressure.

Once I got to the hotel, however, I was greeted by an entirely different experience. My taxi driver at the hotel insisted on taking me everywhere. One day I was an hour late from teaching my class, and he just patiently waited for me...I kept going out to check on him...and he just kept saying he'd wait.

When I walked around in the hotel, I would be greeted by the hotel staff..."Hello Mr. Newman". No seriously, how do you know my name? When I returned home I called the hotel to discuss an issue with the bill, when I told them who I was she replied, "Of course Mr. Newman, I remember you." Wow! Now that truly is great service. If you want to feel like Richard Geer, The Embassy Suites in Mexico City is the way to go!


Well that's it for this week children. Stay tuned for next week when I show up for class wearing a full blown DHARMA suit. See ya!

I put this together trying to figure out Picasa's movie maker...it's pretty simple, but it shows you the construction process of my house. I spelled construction wrong in it, so please...no emails.

Too lazy to send out a christmas card

Merry Christmas from the Newman Family, 2008 (Episode V)

Previously on our last episode (2007), Melissa has found that Ethan may have supernatural powers, only to discover that “The Newman’s Christmas Special” has been cancelled due to the writer’s strike.

Oh what a difference a year makes, but not really. Actually, there is exciting news, but I’m going to save it for the end of the letter! Ha!

Last year I told you about how my loving devotion to my wife and son drove me to working full-time as a traveling umbrella salesman. I had the opportunity to travel all over the U.S. and Canada. This year, I’ve continued to travel like crazy, visiting such beautiful places as New York, Boston, and Laramie, Wyoming. But this year I also had a chance to go to Norway! It was great fun, except I was there probably during one of the coldest and darkest months of the year, November. Still, it was a fun experience.

Melissa has continued to teach karate lessons part time. Those kids “sweep the leg” better than anybody I’ve seen! Oh wait, I think I’m confusing my story lines. Melissa is continuing to tutor kids from home, and she still travels to Salt Lake a few days a week for more tutoring. Melissa will tell you that teaching children in any format is a difficult task, but I think we all know that she’s meant to work with children. Melissa has a unique talent that not all of us share.

Ethan…what can we say about this little guy. We continue to see him find any object in the house and turn it into some sort of toy, whether it be picture frames, blocks, kitchen utensils, snow shovels…everything is fare game. Most of our time (okay Melissa’s) is spent cleaning up after the little monster. Yet, neither of us can stay mad for long. Every day Ethan surprises us with some new saying or a new face. He truly is the joy of our life!

Last but not least, we are proud to expecting parents once again! We don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, but Melissa is having a lot of the fun sickness issues that she did not have with Ethan, so she wonders if it might be a girl. Either way, we look forward to this newest addition to our family which we expect to arrive some time during the first week of July. A July 4th baby? Maybe!

This concludes this episode the Newman Family Christmas letter. We hope that this letter finds you happy and joyous and not drinking too much adult Eggnog! We love you and think of you often. Some of you are closer and some of you are not as close, but we love and appreciate everything each of you do! Merry Christmas

Love,

Ethan, Scott, and Melissa